Thursday, November 27, 2008

A free moment...

I have a free moment (Ema is napping)so I decided to blog.
Each day seems to be getting a little easier. I am not sure if that is because I am getting used to Ema being glued to my hip or that she is actually making progress. This is MUCH harder than I thought it would be. When we started our adoption I knew that it was a POSSIBILITY that she would cry and scream when we got her (which she did neither of the two), I knew it was a POSSIBILITY that she would have a difficult time bonding with one of us, and I knew that is was a POSSIBILITY that the change would be frightening to her. I have to be honest, while I knew all of that and our adoption agency told us these things thousands of times I guess in the back of my mind I thought Ema would be different. Well, she is TEXTBOOK!! She did not cry a drop when we picked her up from the orphanage, only a few whines. She screamed for two hours once we were back to the room. She finds ALL of her security in me and hardly any in Kirk. He has held her maybe twice the entire time we have had her. She will play with him and she will try to feed him when we eat but that is it. Kirk and I said that we prayed over and over again that the Lord would make her that one special child that the orphanage workers would want to hold and play with. I think he answered our prayers. Kirk and I think that the orphanage workers held her a lot. I rock her to sleep (without a rocking chair - my back is killing me), she sleeps, she wakes up crying hysterically until mommy picks her up. From this point on she is either on my hip or in the carrier until she naps or goes to sleep at night. This is the biggest adjustment I have ever had to deal with and I am exhausted. This morning, I needed to take a shower so Ema took one with me, if I have to use the restroom, Ema is there. Have you ever tried pulling your hair up in a ponytail with a baby strapped in a carrier. Whew, it is difficult but can be done. I love her so much and I try to remember that she has spent 17 months in the same room with her nanny and I just removed her from that. We are trying to be patient but sometimes it is hard. Please continue to pray that Ema will adjust to Kirk and that she will soon understand that we love her and will never leave her.

8 comments:

~~Kerri~~ said...

Oh Emily, it is 3:13 am and I am up reading your blog. As hard as t his is right now on you, it sounds wonderful to me. To see her hold tight to you is AWESOME! All Ema has known is a woman (caregiver) has been there with her and for her. Now that is you. Our babies are suppose to find security in us. And Ema has that in you right now. She will adjust to Kirk, and she will latch to her daddy all the same.
Now on a lighter note, Going to the bathroom alone, and all that stuff, well those days are over!! :-) My girls are 7, 8,& 10 and guess what- I always have compnay in the bathroom....
Keep your chin up! The days are rolling on and soon very soon you will be home and readjusting with your husband and daughter.
Hugs and love to you-
Kerri

Laura Dawson said...

Remember that she has been with the orphanage workers for 17 month, she will be with you over there for 3 weeks, and she will be at home with you for the rest of her life.....these few weeks are just a very short season in your lives. The worst (and even some of the best) times will be gone so quickly...Take it one day at a time, and enjoy every minute of it! Don't think about coming home, you will never be there in her country again, try to cherish these few weeks....we can't stop thinking about you....(also my mom sends her love, she can't post on here, but is reading constantly!)

FIG AND DAWN said...

Just think her attaching to one of you is a good thing because you have a 19 hour flight home and it will so much easier that she wants at least one of you. It is all going to be great give her time she will be all over Kirk. If you think about it(you know I have to put my two cents in) when mothers give birth the dad really isn't bonding like the mom because she is nursing and spending most of her time with the baby. Let Ema adjust at her pace and get familiar with you both.She chose you because you are the mom. It is what she is use to. When she gets in the routine of you both it will be more easy for her to go to Kirk. If I had never left that orphanage and see what you say she sees I am not so sure I would hang on to one person either. I pray for you everyday. God is with you all every step of the way. He did not get you two this far to not let Ema be a part of you both. Patience. You will soon hear Kirk saying come get Ema I'm trying to go to the bathroom. ha.ha. love ya kirk. smiles... dawn and indie

FIG AND DAWN said...

hey i can't wait to see her in person she looks so cute in pics. i bet she looks cuter in person i will pray for you geting home safehope yall are haven some fun with Ema can't wait hugs and kisses love yall indie

Kendra said...

Don't feel bad- Coco still showers with me. :) It's that "alone" time we Moms yearn for; then when we get it, we don't know what to do with it. Congratulations, you've officially been inducted into the "mommy club!" I have a Night Before Christmas poem for Moms I unpacked with our Christmas stuff. I'll send you a copy - it's so fitting.

Sending our love and prayers!

Mark said...

Emily,
Today at lunch Maria had a fit when I waundered away from the table and Mark just looked at me and said, "I hope Emily figures it out." Let me know when you do! Although reading everyone's comments I guess where in for a long haul on this.
Kristi

Cynthia said...

Yes, you are definitely a Mommy now! Just like the other mommies on here - I can't begin to tell you how many times Rylee HAS to be in the bathroom with me even if Daddy is home. I can remember how exhausting it is getting into new routines after a child...it still is, but definitely you'll learn how to swing with the punches. :) We all send our love and prayers your way!

Jessica & Cousin Caden said...

Hey Em!! I absloutley love getting to see you holding Ema! It brings tears to my eyes every time I read your blog! I know ya'll are having a tough time right now but like everyone has said Ema will get use to Kirk and one day all these hard times will be just memories! Caden is kind of like that now all he wants it Mommy to hold him and Mommy is about the only one who can get him to stop crying!! It's just a thing we mothers do and even though it's a little hard and hectic at times, just cherish every moment!! We are prying for ya'll!